Principles....

It truly drives me crazy when someone goes back and forth and can't make an decision. O.K. if you are going to do something just do it. Don't re-hash a topic that we already closed the chapter on. I try so hard to live my life by some basic values and principles, I was raised with the understanding that My word needs to be one of my strongest characteristics. If I say I going to do something, it is more then likely I will complete the task at hand. I don't usually change my mind or back out of something unless I myself or my family is for lack of a better word dieing.

I am a traditionalist when it comes to many things, not to just to be a pain in the butt, but because of the meaning behind the action. For example, we did not ever put a Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving growing up. So I have no desire to eat my turkey and dressing in front of sliver and gold balls hanging from a tree with lights. Every year I beg my Aunt to make this corn beef cheese ball and Orange Date Nut Cake, yes they are good. But it is more about the memory of my Nonnie standing in the kitchen in a apron and my Daddy and I fighting over who got the bigger slice of cake, then the actual food items. Or I can not eat home biscuits because it reminds me of my Ma Ma Shug and how in each piece of dough was her love. I wonder if she sheds a tear ever when she looks down on us and sees what her family has become. What a disappointment we all are.I use to be so proud to be apart of such a great family, but now I am ashamed and do not want to be apart of a family that fights and talks about each other all the time. No one supports anyone anymore. We all have sides. And that is why I no longer think of myself as a "Hamm." which is my mom's maiden name.

I know it makes Michael mad when I say, "I am not a Tucker, I married a Tucker." But it is true. I value the name Mc Coy so much. I wanted to name Kayden, Mc Coy and call him "Coy". Besides, Mc Coy Clay Tucker would make such a great country singers name! :-) LOL. But my Kayden was meant to be a Kayden. This week I notice my sister had a face book page. Great for her, but she also was using her madien name as "Mc Coy." NO,NO,NO!!! She has stated many times she hates my dad, he never really adopted her (we are half sisters, we have different dads) and she is in my view un-kind and un-caring to my Nonnie. So I probably went about it in the wrong way but I told my mom, to tell her to remove "Mc Coy," from her page out of respect. Of course my mom's first response was I don't even know what face book is, blah blah. I swear she always is missing my point. I checked again this week, her whole profile is gone so mom must have said something to her. Ha, I just wanted her to take my name off.

This week when my niece text me, and said "We are engaged." I honestly did not know who it was. It really does hurt. I love both my nieces very much and was so close to them growing up. My face used to light up when I talked about them. And I did my best to try to be a great aunt. But some where along the way, They along with their mom and dad became what I dislike so much. The fake stereotypical "Keller Snobs." Keeping put with the Jones' also meant being ashamed of a real me. But I text ed back and said, "I am happy for you and that is wonderful news!" Who knows what lies ahead for this broken messed-up bunch we call a family. I am so so very glad Kayden will never have siblings, they are so over rated!!